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It would be remiss for me not to convey my sincere thanks and appreciation to Wells Fargo for protecting me against the scourges of capitalism and my own intellectual deficiencies. Because it manifest itself in an extraordinary manner, I was quite surprised. As customary, I entered my local Wells Fargo branch and, while the needs of other customers were being met, I sat down to wait. As usual, I reached for a magazine to read. None were there. They were all gone. As the branch manager passed, I inquired about the missing magazines. She politely explained they had to be removed at the direction of Wells Fargo Inspectors who had recently evaluated the branch.

The Inspectors found the magazines to be appalling. It seems the magazines were replete with capitalistic propaganda from merchants intent on selling their wares. By displaying these magazines to customers, the Inspectors were fearful that, the capitalistic propaganda between their covers, might be somehow linked, by customers, to Wells Fargo. Immediate action needed to be taken. Wells Fargo customers had to be protected from their own intellectual deficiencies, which made them incapable of identifying capitalistic propaganda. Wells Fargo had to be protected from its customers---customers it knew lacked the ability to differentiate between propaganda released by it and that released by others. No doubt the Inspectors recognized the situation was one of imminent peril. Thus, their action was immediate and decisive. They ordered the removal of all magazines from the premises.

What was the nature of this capitalistic propaganda that possessed the awesome power to suppress and overcome human intellectual ability? What was this capitalistic propaganda that was so horrific as not be permitted even by a company that epitomizes capitalism? It was advertisements---advertisements paid for by merchants resolute on attempting to sell their commodities and services to consumers.

I must applaud and commend Wells Fargo for this action. Though a symbol of the very epitome of capitalism, Wells Fargo, in taking this action, exercised the courage to repudiate a major component of the capitalistic system---advertising. It was astute enough to recognize the frail and inferior intellect of its customers and the need to protect those customers from this demon of capitalism. As a logical consequence of its courage and recognition, I await the obviously impending action of Wells Fargo to withdraw from all media its own paid advertisements.

The writing of this comment is attributable, in large measure, to Wells Fargo and, as such, it should receive a large part of the writing credit. I cannot thank Wells Fargo enough for contributing to my writing because, by forcing me to twiddle my thumbs in its branch, it gave me with the time needed to mentally compose what I have written. I would especially like to thank Mr. John Stumpf, Wells Fargo’s Commander-in-Chief, for without the policies, philosophy, and vision he imparts to his employees, the Inspectors would have never recognized the sinister threat posed by having magazines with paid advertising in Wells Fargo facilities.

Product or Service Mentioned: Wells Fargo Manager.

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Anonymous
#756286

You, mikeauto, are a delight! We need more humour on this site! Please write something about Walmart and the idio.ts that shop there and complain!

Anonymous
#756329
@Benny

That's going to be a real challenge writing something about the idiots who shop at Walmart, then complain. I don't disagree with you but the problem I will have is differentiating them from all the other idiots I encounter every day.

They're like a virus. They just keep spreading and multiplying. I really wish Norton or McAfee would focus their attention on developing an anti-*** cleaner or that an Apple would introduce an I-phone that had a built in *** protection device. The unfortunate part is that we can't kill them all because the planet would then be virtually barren.

I wish medical science could find a cure but, since they still haven't found a way to kill the common cold virus, I don't think there's much hope in finding a way to kill the idiosis virus. But, I'll give Walmart some thought. Maybe I can differentiate the Walmart ideiots by the clothes they wear.

Have you ever taken a look at some of their apparel? They need an anti-malwear remover.

Anonymous
#756331
@Mikeauto

I don't know why this program replaced the word "i d i o t" with asterix. Did I miss "i d i o t s" being added to our anti-discrimination laws?

Anonymous
#757507
@Mikeauto

Ha! Thanks, Mike!

LTCC
#755362

I found this to be a most interesting article. I await your next.

Anonymous
#755369
@LTCC

Thank you. At least someone appreciated my sarcastic writing style.

sessa
#742032

Ooops, did we forget to take our meds today? :roll :roll

Anonymous
#755596
@sessa

I don't know. My doctor gives me so many meds to take I can't remember whether I took them all.

Maybe I forgot the lithium, or was it the risperidone, or it could have been the seroquel, or maybe the haldol. I can't remember.

Maybe that's because I forgot to take the Namenda for my Alzheimers.